Loving each other is the easy part. Living together across two worlds is the hard part.
Language, family, and culture. Your differences can become a strength, not a battleground.
Book a free 15-min consultationYour experience
Some fights turn out, in the end, not to be about the thing you were arguing over at all, but about two cultures. Should you go home for the holidays? How should you handle money? Which language will the kids speak? Behind every small decision stand two whole families.
Does this sound familiar?
Friction in daily life
- Holidays, money, parenting
- Culture behind small fights
- Two families' expectations
- Language gaps
- Always the translator
How it feels inside
- Not accepted by their family
- "Are we too different?"
- Torn between identities
- Alone and misunderstood
- Worried about big decisions
How I work
Here's how we'll work together:
- We bring culture out of the background and put it on the table, and name which conflicts are really two cultures talking to each other.
- Combining the Gottman Method with a cross-cultural, person-centered approach, you practice understanding each other's default assumptions.
- Together, you build a "third culture" that belongs to just the two of you, with your own rules and rituals.
What might change along the way
- In a fight, being able to tell your partner apart from your partner's culture
- Standing on the same side when dealing with both families
- Letting differences turn into curiosity instead of a trigger
- Creating a way of life that belongs only to the two of you
Common questions about cross-cultural relationships
What language are sessions in?
Mandarin, English, or a mix of both. It's completely fine if the two of you have different first languages. That's a normal part of my work.
Will you side with the partner who shares your culture?
That's a good question, and you're welcome to bring it up in session at any time. I'm on the side of your relationship, not on the side of any one culture.
We just started dating, or we aren't married yet. Is this a good time to come?
Yes. The earlier you understand each other's cultural assumptions, the less likely it is that big decisions later on (the wedding, family, kids) turn into battles.
Ready when you are
Thank you for taking the first step.
Book a free 15-min consultation